Excuses
by ashez2ashes
Summary: Davis has excuses for everything. It's his own fault . . . right? No DaisukeDavis bashing! [Complete]
1. Late Excuses

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon, some evil Saban people do.  
  
Note: Davis might be ooc, I've never tried to write him before, or a Digimon fic for that matter. This idea was just stuck in my head and I had to get it out. This fic contains NO Davis bashing. Down with Davis bashing!  
  
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Late Excuses  
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Ack! I'm late again! The guys are gonna kill me!  
  
Ok, so not literally. But when Kari glares at me, it feels like she's killed me.  
  
Fifteen minutes late! Yep, there goes a clock. Heh, amazing how fast I can run when I put my mind to it.   
  
I hate to disappoint everyone. They're counting on me. But I'm Davis Motomiya! I'll be there in double the time of a normal human being! I'll just ignore this nice blurry sensation from running too long, and my legs turning to jelly. Whoops knocked down a trashcan.  
  
I tried to be here on time! I really did! I couldn't help it . . . stuff came up.  
  
Mom was sick again. It's ok though, I didn't really want to finish my homework. I always get bad grades when I do it. When does anyone need math anyway? I can count money, what more do they want from me? . . . Jun should have been here tonight. She went to her friends instead. She didn't used to be this ditzy. I think she's shutting down. That's what you call it right? Mental breakdown?  
  
I dunno, I probably should ask Ken about it, but then he'd figure it out and Mom doesn't want anyone to know.  
  
I wish Dad was here . . . I hope I didn't say something stupid again. She's so weak and frail. I don't know what to do. Sometimes, she almost passes out. I think I should call the ambulance, but Mom doesn't want me to. All I can do is hold her hair for her why she gets sick . . . or get her a washcloth. Sometimes, I wish I could be a doctor like Joe wants to be . . . but I'm too afraid of breaking people. What if I used the wrong bottle? Cut something out I'm not supposed to? Bang. The person's dead. Just like that.  
  
Cancer does that too.  
  
She'll get better though. I know she will. The doctor's don't know anything! They don't know anything about the Digital World or what we fight for. If digimon can come back to life, why can't people cure cancer? With courage you can do anything! What good are digi-eggs of courage and friendship if they can't save my mom? What I need is that Digi-egg of Miracles thing, but I think it's gone. It was a one-time use sort of thing, like those contacts you use once and throw away. Jun always has those things scattered all over the place.  
  
If miracles happened all the time, they wouldn't be called miracles . . . I sometimes wish I had used it on mom instead of using it to stop Ken . . . But Ken needed to be saved right? If given a choice, I'd use it on my mom instead. . . I guess I really don't deserve that Digi-egg of friendship. The Ken now would do it too . . . and that makes it even worse.  
  
They should of given it to one of the perfect kids, like Kari or TK. They freak me out you know, they're just so perfect. I probably should just leave them alone. I might mess up the perfection thing they have going on. It's just not fair! TK is so perfect . . . he's got Kari after all right? He has to be perfect! It's the only explanation. Kari's perfect, so she needs a perfect friend . . . or is it boyfriend? I dunno, they confuse me.  
  
Yes! I can see the school . . .   
  
I wish I could tell somebody. It's hard keeping it in and being happy all the time. But if I'm not happy, then it'll make other people unhappy and . . . I don't want to bring other people down. I'm ok. I'm tough. I can handle it.  
  
Mom's sensitive about the wig. Maybe that's why she doesn't want anyone to know. The chemo did it to her, made all her hair fall out. I think it looks just like her old hair. No one should be able to tell. She's sensitive about it, girls get all mushy over that kind of stuff.  
  
I wonder what I'm going to tell everyone. I can't very well walk up there and go, 'Gee, I'm late guys. I was holding my mom up as she puked her guts out because of the damn chemotherapy. Hope I didn't mess up your busy schedules.' Heh, the look on TK's face would be priceless.  
  
But I can't. I won't. Mom doesn't deserve that. I should be there with her right now, but I can't. I've got to help save the world. If I don't, there won't be any world for her to get well in.  
  
Whoops, I just got serious again huh? Sorry about that. Don't wanna bring anyone down.  
  
I wonder how Tai would handle something like this?  
  
. . . Heh, he'd probably get Kari to help him.  
  
Hmm, I wonder how Ken would handle it? He's the smartest guy I know. I don't know that many people but trust me, if I knew a lot of people Ken would still be the smartest one. He didn't handle the death of his brother very well, but it was so unexpected. Not that my mom is going to die! Cause she's not! It's just . . . he's been through some stuff. Maybe he knows some tricks . . . other than turning into an evil guy with a whip. That won't help.  
  
Finally! The door to the school! And only three flights of steps to run up . . . great.  
  
Ack. Stomach cramp.  
  
Serves me right. I skipped lunch again. Ramen being the only thing I can cook, I decided to skip it again today. I made some for mom . . . but JEEZ if I have to eat that stuff one more time . . . I make pretty good ramen though. When you survive on something you learn to make it taste good.  
  
I think it would be easiest to talk to Ken. He never makes me feel stupid like the other kids. I know they don't mean it. The comical guy always gets the fall out, like in the movies. They're never taken seriously, or get the girl . . .   
  
Grrr. Stupid movies.   
  
At least, I'm making them laugh. That has to be worth something. It still hurts sometimes though .   
  
Will they even be there? What if they leave without me? They've done it before . . .  
  
No, they need me for the D.N.A Digivolve thing. I'm their leader! They can't leave me behind! I don't think Ken would let them . . . Ken will be there if everyone else isn't. The guy can't do anything without me these days. Seriously, he's a different guy than he was before. He needs people's help now . . .  
  
I don't though. I'm different.  
  
Mom needs me. Jun needs me. Chibimon needs me. Ken needs me. The whole gang needs me . . . even if they don't know it. I can't crumble. People depend on me. I can't be leaning on someone else if someone is already leaning on me.  
  
But . . . I still hope the guys didn't leave without me . . .  
  
Whoops! Got serious again huh?  
  
. . . THE COMPUTER LAB! I MADE IT!  
  
I flew open the door and jumped in. The gang was sitting around waiting for me. Wow, I was half expecting them not to have waited. Oh crud, Chibimon was eating chocolate again. I'm going to have to have a talk with Yolei about leaving chocolate rice balls unattended next to sugar high blue creatures.  
  
"Davish!" Chibimon ran up at me, face covered in chocolate.  
  
"Davis, we've been waiting for ever!" TK frowned. "What was keeping you?"  
  
Ahh! I forgot to think up an excuse! Think brain, think! I didn't feed you all those fish sticks for nuthin!  
  
"Oh I . . . uh was going to get a haircut, but I looked into the mirror and realized I didn't need one!" Sigh . . . great save brain.  
  
TK sighed and I died a little from Kari's look. Not a glare, I don't think she would use something so powerful like that against a normal person. No, it was just this . . . disappointed glance. Yolei's was a definite glare. Hah! Can't hurt me with that one Yolei. Buy a pink shirt and start wearing a camera around your neck and THEN we'll see.  
  
I just smiled apologetically and tried to catch my breath. If only they knew, but they don't and that's ok. It's better this way. Leaders can't seem weak. They have to be strong. They can't bother the other members with their worries. The gang's depending on me. I can handle it.  
  
Motomiya's don't crumble that easily . . .   
  
  



	2. Lame Excuses

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon! I'm very, very poor. My computer's about to explode. It's very bad.  
  
Note: The sort of sequel to Late Excuses. Everyone seemed to like it, I enjoyed writing it, so why not make another one? And if this one isn't as good as the other ones I'll stop. In fact, could someone please tell me if this was sub-par to the other part? If it's not and you guys want another part your going to have to request it . . .   
  
And as always . . . DOWN WITH DAVIS BASHING!  
  
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Lame Excuses  
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I'm so stupid. I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me? I just . . . walked out. I shouldn't have done it. I have more control than this! The teacher kept talking about cancer and the odds. Who cares about the odds?! Odds mean nothing! So I just left . . . but not cause I couldn't handle it. I just felt sick ya know?  
  
It didn't mean anything.  
  
So here I am, standing here staring at my reflection in the boy's bathroom mirror. The girl's bathroom has a bigger mirror. I guess they need to fix their hair. Kari doesn't. Her hair is always perfect. OK, so she doesn't have that much hair, but what she has is perfect.  
  
I wonder if they'll send anyone in after me. They probably haven't even noticed that I'm gone. I've always been able to do that, sneak off without anyone noticing me. It's not a gift, people just don't notice I'm gone. Well, I guess it can be a blessing sometimes when I want to be gone. It's just that . . . I guess it's not important.  
  
Who is that in the mirror? It doesn't even look like me anymore. He's always so happy . . . but I have to be happy right? It's my job. I'm morale guy. It's the only thing I have. Without it I'm noth--  
  
. . . Never mind.  
  
I wonder why people don't like him. What's wrong with him? He's friendly and athletic. He tries to get along with everyone. What's wrong? Maybe it's something on the outside that's wrong.  
  
Is it my hair? People say it looks like Tai's. I always thought it was a complement . . . Maybe . . . maybe it wasn't? But Tai's a cool guy!  
  
Why are my eyes watery?  
  
Does Kari see her brother every time she looks at me? Is that why she doesn't like me? . . . To her it would be like kissing her brother . . . ARGH! That has to be it! . . . Oh man. I didn't do it on purpose. It just happened that way. I already had the goggles . . . then Tai gave me his. I thought they were . . . I dunno. Better than a crest? Like a medal of honor.   
  
But it's not _MY_ medal of honor is it?  
  
I slowly slid the goggles from my forehead and held them in my hand.  
  
They're Tai's and I don't need Tai's honor. I'll get my own honor! I'm not some copy . . . I'm . . . I'm not! Right? . . . Yeah. Does Kari see me that way? No! I know she doesn't! The others might . . . so what? Who cares what the others think! I don't. Not a bit.  
  
Is it my eyes? My clothes?  
  
But, I can't help think about all the other kids that were in my place right now and their mom died anyway. I'm special, though. That's what being a digidestined is right? That I'm special?  
  
Stupid tears! Stop crying stupid! Stop!  
  
I shouldn't have had Ken over the other day. It was hard on mom. She was feeling better that day and had wanted him to come . . . but . . . I dunno. It's hard for her to pretend. I hate pretending. Anyway, next time I'll just go over Ken's house instead. It always seems to make his mom so happy. Last time, she kept coming in and trying to feed us muffins. I really didn't want any, but she looked so happy every time I took one. Heh, you'd think she'd be worried after I ate seven or eight muffins . . . but no . . .  
  
If I ever see a banana nut muffin again, I'll scream.  
  
Ken's got nice family. Nice mom, nice dad . . . lotsa nice people there. They've been through a lot. It must have been hard to lose a sibling. I dunno, if I would miss Jun or not. Horrible huh? Oh well, she's been gone for a long time now. The hair-spray has seeped into her brain. Or it could be the cancer thing, but I like thinking it's hair-spray. I guess I would miss Jun. I wouldn't miss the make-up all over the sink . . . or the 'let's have a sleep-over and then have my friends put shaving cream all over my brother while he's sleeping' thing . . .  
  
I don't want to wish her dead or anything. Mom and Dad don't need that. They'd brake into smaller pieces . . . They always did like Jun better.  
  
But that stuff's not important! 'Cause I'm the leader of the digidestined and I've got to stay strong!  
  
But how can I stay strong if I've never been strong?   
  
No! I have been strong!  
  
. . . what is strength anyway?  
  
I hate crying . . .  
  
"Hey Davis!"  
  
Oh my god it's TK . . . My favorite bestest friend. Heh, yeah, right. He's got everything and he doesn't know it . . . my everything.  
  
"Davis are you ok? I saw you leave and when you didn't come back I got worried." TK walked up to me and looked . . . worried? Yeah, right. The teacher probably asked him to come. He's got no reason to be worried about me. He hates me.  
  
. . . well he should hate me.  
  
"Hey TS." Ok, I know his name is TK but it's not as much fun to call him that. "Uh . . . I remembered I left something in the bathroom." I hate lying too . . .  
  
"Did you find it?"  
  
"Yeah, but when I did, I realized it was someone else's. Probably never was mine."  
  
"What?" TK looked confused, which makes sense I guess. This is something he knows nothing about.  
  
"Here." I handed him my goggles . . . err I mean Tai's goggles and he was all stunned. Better get this over with quickly. I don't want to hang around here anymore, especially not with him. "Give this back to Tai for me will ya?"  
  
I grabbed my backpack and started to run out of the room.  
  
"But why? Hey Davis! Hold up!"  
  
"They're too small for me! My head grew too much and I couldn't wear them!" At least, that wasn't entirely a lie. I was almost out the door. I looked back and saw TK's face as I jumped through the door.  
  
It was a lame excuse. I don't think he believed me.  



	3. Forgotten Excuses

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon. Saban, Toei and some other Japanese people do. If I did, there would be subtitled Digimon DVD's. And anime would run like honey, Funimation would explode and . . . ok I'll stop now.  
  
Note: Someone asked for it, so here it is! As before, if you want another one you have to ask for it. The length of this just depends on how long ya want it to be. I'm a comment monger. The more I get, the more I want to write. ^_^  
  
So anyways . . . DOWN WITH DAVIS BASHING! . . . AGAIN!  
  
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FORGOTTEN EXCUSES  
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Home is where the heart is. That's what people say. You come home after a hard day's work and there's your house, all comfy and waiting for you. Your parents are there and there's dinner on the table. They ask you about your day and you tell them about all the happy, exciting, meaningless things that ya did.  
  
Then Myotismon comes and blows up the world because you were too relaxed.  
  
Big bummer there.  
  
Home is where the heart is . . . heh. If there's a heart at the Motomiya's, it's beating underneath the floorboards.  
  
Then again . . . We never did find that gerbil I lost a few years ago. There's probably an undead Mr. Fluffy running around in the apartment somewhere. Probably lives in Jun's room with all her other lies. It's getting pretty smelly in there . . .  
  
Sorry. I always get this way when I'm home. Especially when I'm home alone with Mom. She's pretty good tonight. I think she's been sleeping all day. I checked to make sure she was breathing when I got home . . . Of course she was though, mom's tough.  
  
I'd feel sorry for any evil digimon that met her in a dark alley.  
  
I'm all alone in the house tonight, except for Chibimon. Jun's at some party or off stalking Matt. It's funny. Matt was yelling at me about not talking bad about my sister and then a few days later she starts stalking him. It's almost justice . . . except for the fact that NO ONE deserves to be stalked by Jun.  
  
Dad's at his second job. The medical bills can be pretty high. I don't see him very much, unless he's yelling at me. But it's my fault. I'm always gone with the digimon stuff. I can be pretty undependable. And my grades . . . well they're bad. Before mom got sick, he helped me with my homework. Now he works all day. I'm just . . . dense ya know? It can't be helped. I'm stupid and I'll always be stupid. Wish he'd understand that. Maybe he wouldn't yell so much.  
  
But I know he's tired and worried. And he's . . . scared. He doesn't have a crest of courage like me. He doesn't know what to do. It's like building a fort made out of pillows. I always loved to do that when I was little. Grandma always had tons of pillows . . . One pillow goes down and the whole thing collapses. You try to grab one of them and the other falls down because you tried. Before he knew it, they were all falling down and there was nothing he could do about it.  
  
Maybe he shouldn't have built his fort with pillows eh?  
  
My head feels weird without the goggles. Or without any for that matter. They were Tai's though, not mine. I'm better off without them. I could go buy another pair of my own . . . but why bother? Even if I buy a new pair, they'll still be Tai's.  
  
At least Chibimon, V-mon etc etc . . . is here with me. Why do they have to have so many names anyways? Couldn't Digimon just pick a nickname and stop confusing everybody? Maybe I could start calling him, little blue guy, really little blue guy, big blue guy . . . I guess it's not important. Confusing yeah . . . but he's still the same, no matter what form he's in. He'll always be my buddy, no matter what. Digimon are like that, they say something and they mean exactly what they say. Even the evil ones are like that. 'I shall destroy you. I shall blow up the world. I am angry watch me growl, bla bla bla.' And hey, they mean it.  
  
They're honest even if it's honestly evil. I wish people were like that. If they could just--  
  
"DAVISH!"  
  
Ack! And now my own personal little blue thing was jumping up and down on my chest. He must have jumped down from the bookshelf.  
  
"Davish!" Why does he have a lisp anyways when he's chibmon? "You look really sad and serioush." I slowly opened one eye and looked into his large worried ones. He's worried about me. What to tell him? I could say one of my excuses, but I'm tired and I've forgotten them. Maybe . . . maybe I can tell him the truth.  
  
"What's wrong Davish? You can tell me. I'm your friend!" His eyes got impossibly bigger and puppy dog like. He could give somebody cavities like that. He was so darn . . . cute. It should be illegal to be that cute.  
  
"I--" No I shouldn't bother him. The little guy's got enough world saving stuff to worry about then bothering him with my problems. No, I shouldn't. I'm supposed to take care of him and--  
  
"Puhleez? Don't pretend there's nuthin wrong this time."  
  
He knew. How could he know?  
  
"I guess I wasn't as good at it as I thought I was." I picked up Chibimon in my hands gently and sat up in bed. He jumped from my arms and sat a few feet from my knees, still looking up me with those big eyes. I looked down at the bed spread and the little soccer balls printed on it. "Can you keep a secret?"  
  
"Sure! All Digimon can keep secrets! Except for the evil ones . . . and the dishonest ones . . . and the ones with big mouths . . . and the--"  
  
"Chibimon."  
  
"Hmm? . . . Oh sorry."  
  
That's my digimon for ya, can't stay serious for more than two seconds. Can be pretty cheesy sometimes too . . . but you can't help but like him. Guess he's got something I don't.  
  
"It's my mom . . . she's got cancer."  
  
"What's cancer?"  
  
Uh . . .  
  
"It's a disease."  
  
"Can't you get some medicine to make it better?"  
  
"No you can't because . . ." How do I explain this to him? "No . . . see cancer's you."  
  
"You?"   
  
Oh no, now I've really confused him.  
  
"It's your body turned against you. Like a friend you've known your whole life betraying you."  
  
"Oh." He squinting his eyes hard. Uh oh. I may have overloaded him. I knew I shouldn't have told him. Stupid . . . Stupid . . . Stupid . . . I hate being serious. I have to stop. It only makes things worse. I gotta be positive.  
  
" . . . is she going to die?"  
  
" . . ."  
  
"Davish?"  
  
"No of course not she's . . . I . . . she won't . . . I-I." Stop crying! Stop! I can't be weak like this! I can't! I gotta stay positive. Must stop thinking . . . I'm too stupid to be thinking this much, anyways. She'll get better! Of course, she will! She HAS to! She's tough, and if you don't give up you won't lose! But maybe she doesn't have a choice . . . But she's gotta . . . Stop tears! Stop! . . . please stop.  
  
" . . . Davish? I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry." He ran over and hugged me.  
  
"I . . . d-don't know." Please stop . . . please stop . . . you can't let everyone down. Too many people . . . depending on you. I've gotta get it together I have to . . .  
  
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!   
  
Huh? Oh it's my D-terminal. It's probably the guys. They must need--  
  
"RING! RING! . . . Hello? Davis? Pick up! This is Jun! Take me off the answering machine already! I'm--"  
  
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
"--not coming home tonight. Gonna stay over at a friend's house. Hey goggle brain! I gotta talk to ya pick up the--"  
  
"Beep! Beep! Beep!"  
  
KNOCK! KNOCK! "Hello? Pizza delivery man is this--"  
  
"--medicine for me on the way home from school tomorrow ok? I got cheerleading practice. I know your not doing anything so--"  
  
"Hello? Is anyone there? This is the Motomiya residence--"  
  
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
"--isn't it?"  
  
"--I know your there! I need to talk to you!"  
  
"--Hello? I need the money for this pizza!"  
  
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!  
  
"Davish! I think your friends are in trouble! They need you!"  
  
They all need me . . .  
  
" . . . Davis?"   
  
"Mom?"  
  
  
  



	4. Sisterly Excuses

Disclaimer: Do you really think I own Digimon?  
  
Note: Wow, finished with another one. I don't know how long this is going to be, but I know the ending. I'm open to suggestions on what you would like to see. Tell me and there's a big chance I might do it. As always, I gotta get a couple replies before I start on the next one.  
  
And remember kiddies . . .  
  
Down with Davis bashing!  
  
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Sisterly Excuses  
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Sisters! What are they good for? Absolutely nuthin! . . . Or was that war? Whatever. It still goes with it. Everyone would be better off as an only child. Then no one would have to bother with fighting with their siblings, and having them steal their stuff, and being disappointed when you were counting on them to help you, or worrying about them and lotsa other stupid stuff.  
  
Not that I ever worry about the Paparazzi wanna-be girl. Or wonder where she is late at night, or anything.  
  
It's pretty in the park this time of day. It's only a few blocks away from where I live. It's a good shortcut. It can knock off about fifteen minutes from your trip if you know the right paths. The park's probabley why my parents decided to move here. They both were raised in the country. I guess they figured their kids could go there and play and it would almost be like they weren't trapped in wall-to-wall people Tokyo. Kinda silly huh? It works about as well as closing your eyes. Your still in the city, even if you can't see it at that moment.  
  
The sky is really pretty out here. Pretty . . . I wish I was a more wordy guy. Mom always asks about the sky when I go see her. She doesn't get to go out much. I usually tell her, 'it's blue' or 'it's grey' or 'there's clouds'. I wish I could make up some pretty adjectives, write them down, and give them to my mom so she could close her eyes and not be trapped too. I'm just not good at that sort of stuff. Maybe I should get Ken to write a wordy description of the sky for me . . . except if I asked him that, he'd look at me like I was insane. A polite 'YOU ARE INSANE' look, but a call to the loony bin nonetheless.  
  
Heh, I bet the padded walls are nice this time of year.  
  
Kari might do it for me, but she'd definitely want to know why. I don't want her to know. She already thinks there's so many things wrong with me, I'd rather not add any to the list. And I don't want to make her sad. It . . . HURTS when I make her sad. If staying quiet and not bothering her anymore doesn't make her sad, then it's worth it.  
  
And the others well . . . they're not really the poetry types anyway.  
  
Man . . . I can just imagine the others idea of poetry. Cody's would be like, 'Don't be worried! Don't be sick! Look I can bash things with a stick! Go prune juice!' Or Yolei's would be about food and boys. 'Chocolate, candy, apple pie! I'm gonna eat until I die! Eating's not a sin . . . when I grow up, I'm gonna marry Ken!'  
  
Poor Ken. Maybe he should become a monk and save himself some future pain.  
  
And TK . . . 'I'm perfect in every way. I wear a hat, everyday. Kari loves me and not that other guy. Who wishes sometimes that he would d--  
  
I think I'll stop this game.  
  
Was that footsteps behind me?  
  
I paused and looked over my shoulder. Nope . . .nothing. Huh . . . maybe I really am going crazy.   
  
Going crazy? Hmm, I wonder if that runs in the family, too. I think Jun's the only one that I know of that went nutso, but you never know. Why does she have to be such a . . . All I need is a little help, ya know? She helped at first, and then it got lesser . . . and lesser . . . until before you knew it, she wasn't even my sister anymore. She was just this crazy Matt fan that lived in my house.  
  
I remember once when I was real little I was hanging around the park, doing little kid stuff, and these bullies start to pick on me. I can't remember why they were going to beat me up. It was probably something little like I accidentally hit one of them in the head with a soccer ball and knocked his front tooth out. You know, just some little thing. So anyways, these big guys were about to rip off my arms and bury me in their backyard when suddenly, Jun jumps out of no where and . . . ok so she didn't save me. She got her butt kicked too, but . . . she tried!  
  
It meant a lot to me . . . it's silly but . . . it did. I haven't had many people stand up for me in my life.  
  
What the? OK, that was footsteps in front of me that time! It better not be an evil digimon! I don't have time for an evil digimon right now! I have Chibimon tucked away in my backpack, but . . . I'm busy here! Well, I guess I should look on the bright side, it could always be a crazy park murderer hiding in the bushes.  
  
See? I'm still positive.  
  
"Hey Goggle-Brain!"   
  
Heh. It's something even more horrible. It's . . . MY SISTER.  
  
Jun stepped out from a path in front of me and jogged up to meet me. She was wearing one of her obnoxious pink outfits again. Was there some kind of all pink store that I wasn't aware of? I stopped near a park bench, glared at her, and shifted my backpack on my shoulders.   
  
"I'm not even wearing my goggles anymore, Jun. Have you been walking around with your eyes closed again? You know, it's not really night."  
  
"Oh real witty porcupine head. I think I'm going to have to collapse in tears now."  
  
Tears? Oh no, that would be showing real emotion and we can't have that.  
  
"Whatever. You bailed on me again last night." I shifted the grocery bag I was holding to my other hand. "Not that I needed your help or anything, but Mom wanted you there! For some stupid reason she seems to like you. If dad hadn't come home early, I don't know what I would have--"  
  
"Oh Puleaze. Important things? What? Miss your appointment to save the world?"  
  
I ALMOST DID!  
  
"You should have been there." I don't ask for a lot! Just . . . a little bit of help! I could do everything myself if I had time . . . but I don't! I just . . . don't.  
  
"Oh come on." She waved her hand in the air. "It's not a big deal. Everything turned out ok in the--"  
  
"IT IS A BIG DEAL!" Jun looked shocked at my outburst. It's about time I out-bursted! She's older she should help! She's the big sister she should know more than me! But she doesn't, AND IT'S NOT FAIR!  
  
"Davis calm down, everything will--"  
  
"Stop acting like there's nothing wrong! It's ok to do that with other people but not to me! Don't try to pull this stuff with me Jun, 'cause I know all the tricks. I do them too, or can you not remember? Do you even care at all?"   
  
Ah man, don't cry again. Stop! Stop! Stop! . . . no more crying. I've been doing that too much lately. It wasn't fair . . . and wasn't--  
  
Jun slapped me . . . hard.  
  
"I do care ok?" She looked like she was going to cry too. I brought a hand to the stinging mark on my face. Was that her only way to retaliate? By slapping me?  
  
And then everything in the park was silent for one of those uncomfortable pausing moments.  
  
I hate those.  
  
"You have a funny way of showing you care."  
  
"Here." She shoved a large wad of money into my free hand. "I scammed some upper classmen and a few college students out of their money. That's where I was last night, at a party. Just call me Jun the card shark. College students can be pretty gullible. The key is to act stupid."  
  
"Act?"  
  
"Buy mom some flowers will you? I know it gets really stuffy in the room all the time, and being there, with nothing to do, cramped up in such a small spot with no where to go, no way out, and waiting . . ." She looked panicky for a moment. "Um...anyways, just buy her some flowers will you? You know, some of those red ones she really likes?"  
  
"Why can't you go get them yourself? Come on! I need your he--err nevermind."  
  
Jun gasped with fake surprise. "The mighty Goggle Boy Davis needs help?"  
  
I woulda glared, but I was too tired. "I don't even wear my goggles anymore."  
  
"What happened to them?" She raised an eyebrow. "Lose them?"  
  
"Nah, I gave them back to Tai."  
  
"Head get too big for them?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
And there's another one of those silent awkward moments.  
  
Jun finally cleared her throat and broke the silence. "Well I better go. See ya later Goggle--err . . . Daisuke." She ran away from me like her life depended on it. I watched her disappear into the bushes till I couldn't see anymore obnoxious pink and then pocketed the money.  
  
I switched the bag to my other hand and sighed. I was so tired. When was the last time I got some sleep anyways? I THINK I got a little last night . . . but I'm not sure. The bench a few feet away caught my eye. I guess I could sit down for a little while . . . but only a little while. No rest for the weary.  
  
Whoa, that sounded like an old person quote. Maybe I should sit down.  
  
I walked over to the bench and sunk into it. Nothing better than sitting on a gum infested park bench to perk up the spirits! Yes sirrrrreee . . . I'm so positive. Witness me being positive. I'm positive guy. I'm not gonna think of my sister who's living in her own little bubble.  
  
I'm not gonna think of all the work I have to do. Or the digital world, or--  
  
Err, Chibimon needs air . . . . . . . . . Ok Chibimon's still breathing and now hopping around the park bench. Breathing's great! You get air, and that keeps you alive, and you never appreciate it until it becomes painful for you to do it . . . Err, look how pretty the park is!  
  
And there's a pretty lake, clouds, and an icky looking trashcan sitting beside me, ruining all the prettiness. That jerk! Who does it think it is?! Messing with my pretty park vision?! Just because it's got the crest of courage it thinks it's better than everyone else! That it would be allowed to mess something up as beautiful as the sky and the lake!  
  
So what if everyone depends on it? 'Cause they shouldn't! It's just a little trashcan, and it doesn't know what its doing! But it keeps pretending like it does! And then when any more stuff gets in it, it'll crumble and trash will go everywhere, and someone will trip on the trash and die! And it'll be all his fault!  
  
Someone will die because of him. Or . . . tons of people! Just because he was too stupid to figure something out! Just because he was too weak to take it!  
  
"Stupid trashcan!" I stood up and kicked the metal trashcan as hard as I could, sending it into the nearby lake. It sunk into the water and disappeared.  
  
. . . I hate that trashcan.  
  
"You know littering's a crime right?"  
  
Ahh!  
  
". . . M-Matt?"  
  
How long had he been standing there?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Friendship Excuses

Disclaimer: Digimon is own by people with money that are not me. Don't sue me, 'cause all you'd get would be a rusty nickel and an old jolly rancher.  
  
Note: Yet another chapter. As of right now, there is going to be two more chapters after this one. Ken will be in the last one. ^_^ Please review, I won't start on the next one until I get a couple of them. I don't know if I like this one. And one more thing I must say, even though it's getting cliche by now...  
  
Down with Davis bashing!  
  
  
********************  
Friendship Excuses  
********************  
  
"What did that trashcan ever do to you?"  
  
Great. Of all the people to see me kick that, it had to be Matt, brother to the perfect one. What is he doing here? Heh, probably running away from Jun. I don't blame him. So what did the trashcan ever do to me? Nothing. But hey, life isn't fair, so it just has to deal with it right? Like he'd believe that one. Well I better think up some kind of excuse before he tells the park orderlies and they come and beat me to death with brooms.  
  
"It uh . . . was an evil Digimon!"  
  
Oh, thanks brain. That's so much better.  
  
"Really?" Matt raised an eyebrow, walked over, and sat down on the bench. He was sipping some kind of drink in a platic cup. Who said he could sit down on my bench? Might as well sit down too.   
  
"What? You never heard of Trashcan-mon?"  
  
"Trashcan-mon...uh huh. Ok then, why didn't you get your digimon to do it?" He pointed to Chibimon who was under the bench, playing with a butterfly.  
  
"He's busy. Aren't you Chibimon?"  
  
"OOooOoo! Davish! Look at the pretty butterfly!" Chibimon scurried underneath the bench, oblivious to the troubles of the world. I really envy him sometimes.  
  
"See? What do you care anyways?" Whoa! Back the trolley up, man! That was almost real emotion! I gotta smile . . . ok. I'm relaxed. Nothing is wrong. I won't let Matt think I'm weak.  
  
Because I'm not weak. I'm not allowed to be.  
  
"Calm down. I just saw you and Jun talking and--"  
  
I froze in shock. How much did he hear? No no no no no...Ah! Get it together!  
  
"Eh heh, heh. Yeah. Whatever. Spying on people is rude." My voice held a little more anger than I had meant to let out and Matt looked at me in surprise. Jeez, the guy must think ALL the Motomiya's worship him.  
  
"Don't get your knickers in a bunch Davis." He put his hands behind his head and leaned back like he owned the bench. Who said he could sit down next to me? Even if he is almost a Japanese rock star, he doesn't own this bench! "I wasn't spying. I was HIDING from that crazy sister of yours. You remember her? Spikey hair? Stalks people?"  
  
"Dun know. Someone once yelled at me for talking bad about my sister. Something about 'looking down on anyone who's talks bad about their brother or sister'?"  
  
"Yeah, I remember something vaguely like that. Some naive little boy said it who didn't realize the horror of his words."  
  
I must be hearing things. I coulda sworn that was an apology. Uh, what is Matt doing?  
  
"Um . . . Davis?" Matt blinked and looked at me. . . and looked at me . . . and looked me . . . and looked at me . . . and . . . hey! I'm getting really uncomfortable here!  
  
"What?!"  
  
"What happened to your goggles?"  
  
Does everyone think I super-glued them on?!  
  
Breath man! Calming breaths. Calm . . . like the ocean. Like those tapes Dad listens for stress! Water trickling, birds singing, jungle sounds . . . How ARE jungle sounds soothing? Don't things in the jungle get killed a lot? Oh never mind.  
  
"I gave them back to Tai." Might as well tell him the truth, TK musta mentioned it.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"They weren't mine. They were Tai's."  
  
Matt's eyes widened like I had just told him I wanted to be a professional ballerina. "But they were a present from Tai. I thought you loved those things? Tai always seemed to think they were a symbol of leadership--"  
  
"I'M NOT TAI."  
  
Oops. I'm gonna get it with that comment. I have to stop saying exactly what I'm thinking!  
  
"Was wondering when you'd finally realize it." He smirked and sipped his soda.  
  
. . . huh?  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Oops.  
  
"I figured if you got the Digimental of Friendship you had to have some of me in there, too." He seemed really pleased by this. I think someone told me once that Matt had wanted to be the leader.  
  
Nice to know I'm making the guy feel better about himself.  
  
"Heh, having both of us up there." He pointed to my brain, or at least the space where it's supposed to be. "Must be really hard, having to lead everyone into danger but at the same time not wanting anyone to get hurt. Always fighting with yourself."  
  
I looked away. What does he know? He doesn't know me. "Whatever."  
  
"OOoh, so I was right!" He snickered and sipped his soda... water...hard liquor, ya know, whatever he was drinking.  
  
"Don't you have to trash a hotel room somewhere?"  
  
"You know, I thought you were a real jerk at first." Like the rest of the world. "But you've really changed. Especially the three-sixty you did concerning Ken. It took the rest awhile to forgive him, but you did it without a second thought."  
  
Whoa.  
  
That DID NOT just happen.  
  
Matt . . . complemented me?!  
  
Let's see. Sky's still blue and hasn't fallen yet. Don't see any pigs flying. Heh, Patamon must be inside Tk's house. Ouch! Nope. Not a dream either.  
  
Besides, It didn't have anything to do with me. Ken's the one that broke free from the darkness in his soul. He was the only one that could break the cycle. He had to find the kindness in his heart.   
  
Aw man, that sounds REALLY cheesy.   
  
"But Ken's changed. It wasn't that hard to tell. He wasn't really that cruel Digimon Emperor. He was just putting up a front, pretending to be someone he wasn't." Which is something I would know nothing about by the way. "I guess he thought he had to replace his brother. He tried to give the world back Sam, but he didn't take into account it might need a Ken more."  
  
Matt's smile faded. "People eventually become what they're pretending to be." He turned in his seat and faced me. "Who are you and what have you done with Davis?"  
  
"He was abducted by aliens. Your going to have to talk to crazy trashcan kicking boy right now. Would you like to leave a message?"  
  
"Yeah." Matt stood up. "Tell him to stay away for awhile. I like this Davis a lot better." He smiled and I . . . blushed? No I didn't do that. It would mean I was embarrassed and I'm totally not.   
  
Matt turned and walked away dramatically, the wind whipping through his hair as the sun began to set and--  
  
immediately turned around.  
  
"Uh, and if you see Jun you NEVER saw me ok?" And then Matt jogged away very undignified like, looking over his shoulder nervously for a crazed pink fangirl.  
  
Matt thinks I'm his friend! I . . . can't believe it. All that stuff about not putting up fronts . . . could it really work? What if I'm just really some weak kid, and I can't take it? It'd be just selfish to let all my friends down like that.   
  
But if Matt's my friend, and he has the crest of friendship . . . he must know what he's talking about.  
  
Still, being myself? I'll have to think about it for awhile.   
  
I don't know if the real Davis can take it . . .  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Motherly Excuses

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Digimon, but I gotta put this stupid thing on their anyways...  
  
Note: Only one more to go...This chapter didn't come out the why I had wanted. It's my least favorite...Oh well. Any Davis fans out there feel free to send me a line on aol instant messenger (ashes chan). I hope someone likes this...gotta get a few reviews before starting on the end.  
  
  
DOWN WITH DAVIS BASHING!  
  
  
******************  
Motherly Excuses  
******************  
  
  
It would suck to be a flower.  
  
Sure you get to be this beautiful thing that everyone adores. Sounds great, huh? People lovingly plant you, water you, and then . . . rip you out and kill you. As if your life wasn't short enough as a flower. Your not allowed to grow old and wilt 'cause people don't like ugly flowers. So at the prime of your life your ripped in half and handed to someone you don't know to make room for the other flowers.  
  
I've never liked flowers myself . . . but my Mom loves them.  
  
They are pretty . . . err the flowers I bought. Mom's favorites are these large red ones with yellow thingies inside of them. I don't even remember what they're called, but I remembered what they looked like from the last time I . . . "visited" the hospital.  
  
The Motomiya's never have to "stay" at the hospital. No, we only have to "visit" the hospital, like someone "visits" the grocery store. Like the time Mom "visited" the hospital and liked it so much, she decided to stay for a couple weeks! Or the time she "visited" and her hair just happen to fall out. Or the time she "visited" and her heart just "happened" to stop.  
  
Which is another reason Motomiya's fall down a lot. We walk around with our eyes closed half the time.  
  
My mom is different. At least, to me she is. She always tell me the truth. She told me everything, the good and the bad, ever since I could remember. It was never "Don't play in the road or you'll get hurt Davis, honey". No it was, 'Don't play in the road or you'll get hit by a car and die a gruesome death Davis, honey." Okay, so that may have warped my mind a little bit, but it's the truth! You'll never see ME playing in the road.  
  
You might see me playing soccer indoors but that's an entirely different story.  
  
And I never lie to her either.  
  
"Hey, mom! I'm home!" I sat the flowers and grocery bag on the counter and put away the few items in the bag. I feel bad for yelling but Mom should be up by now. And if not, she needs to eat anyways. If I don't do anything, she'll sleep all day and not get any uh, what ja call it? Nudrition? Uh, whatever. FOOD.   
  
Let's see . . . what to make. I can make ramen, ramen, and . . . ramen. Decisions, decisions, how about ramen? Heh. I can make that lobster dinner tomorrow. Can't waste my amazing talents all in one day.  
  
It took me about ten minutes to make my super mom special ramen. I put it on a tray with some other stuff, like Mom's pills. She'll forget to take them if I don't remind her. I don't blame her, there are so many! I'd conveniently "forget" to take them, too. I put the flowers in my other hand.  
  
"Mom?" I stopped in front of her door and peeked in. It was always so quiet in my mom's room. There was only a little sunlight coming through the window, making the room shadowy. There's nothing we can do about it though, the windows aren't very big in our apartment. My parents didn't care when they first rented the place before I was born. The park was just a few feet away after all...there should be any reason they couldn't go outside...  
  
Mom was sitting up with her pillows propped up a little bit. She looked toward the door and smiled softly like she was going to float away. "Hello honey." She perked up when she noticed the flowers. "Oh you shouldn't have. Thank you."  
  
"Uh, well there not from me, they're from Jun." You owe me Jun. Not that she'll ever pay me back. I sat the flowers in a vase next to my mom's bed and filled it with water from a cup I brought on the tray. I sat the tray next to the flowers.  
  
The flowers made the place look a little more alive. Err, I mean, less dark and boring.  
  
"What was the sky like?"   
  
"Blue." Wait! "Uh I mean . . . like really blue and pretty." Argh!  
  
But mom smiled anyways.  
  
"I'm sorry, it just looks blue to me."  
  
"That's ok. It used to just look blue to me too."  
  
Oh...  
  
I sat down on the foot of her bed, carefully not to make the bed wobble or anything. Mom picked up a spoon and tasted my ramen. She froze with the spoon still in midair.  
  
"This...this is..."  
  
"Kinda bad? very bad? Or, your really not my son bad?"  
  
My mom chuckled or coughed, I'm not really sure which. "It's the best ramen I've ever had."  
  
"...r-really?"  
  
Mom nodded slightly. "You could run your own restaurant."  
  
Own a restaurant? Wasn't that kind of a sissy thing to do? "I always saw myself as a professional soccer player, dominating the field with my amazing skills."  
  
Mom did her cough n' laugh thing again. I'm so stupid! Can't I even cheer her up right? I keep hurting her...   
  
Mom didn't seem to feel the coughing was important and moved on. "The older you get the less you find you want to run up and down a grassy field."  
  
"Oh. Well I could always hit the ball with my walker. But if I did do the restaurant thing, I wouldn't just own one, I'd own a whole chain! And I'd become rich and famous and buy you and dad a really big house."  
  
Mom looked sad for a moment, I guess she thinks I went overboard.  
  
"Oh sorry. Would you rather have cruise boat instead?" What did I do? I didn't mean to make her sad.  
  
"Never mind, dear." She waved her small hand in the air. "...how was your day?"  
  
"Well I got my butt kicked by this giant black dinosaur creature who's all confused. He doesn't know if he's real or not...Oh yeah, the stability of two worlds may be in jeopardy."  
  
As I said, I never lie to my mom.  
  
"That's nice. Did the Martians come before or after?"  
  
But she thinks, I do.   
  
"Um, the Martians decided not to attend."  
  
Mom ate in silent for a few minutes, taking super small bites. The spoon wobbled a bit, like it was really heavy. I sat around quietly. It's not that bad sitting quietly with Mom. After awhile Mom looked up and out of the blue--  
  
"What kind of girl are you going to marry?"  
  
Huh?  
  
"Um...not many girls want to marry an eleven year old boy, Mom."  
  
"Don't go for the pretty and popular ones. Because as soon as you get out of school the rules change. Go for someone nice and caring, and don't pine for anyone that doesn't love you back. You can't change them."  
  
And I repeat, huh again?  
  
"Why are you telling me this?"  
  
"Just listen."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Help your wife out with the housework, be willing to stay home with the kids too. Don't do what everyone else is doing, even if they make fun of you for it. .......NEVER tell your child he's stupid. If you turn out gay I won't mind. Have a western wedding. They're cheaper. DON'T act like your father. Your stronger than that. Most importantly..."  
  
Mom reached over and cupped my cheek with her hand. She was...crying? "Don't lose your fire, Davis. The world will try to burn it out, but don't let them. You're the most courageous, good hearted, person I have ever known. You're my best friend. By having you I know my life wasn't worthless." She kissed the top of my forehead. "I love you honey."  
  
Whoa.  
  
"I love you too mom...what's wrong?"  
  
"I . . . I just watched a soap opera and I'm emotional. Nothing important. Let me sleep now all right? I'm . . . getting tired."  
  
"All right..."  
  
She smiled at me again as I left and reinforced my belief that my mom was the most beautiful woman in the world even with her face streaked with tears...I walked out and closed the door behind me.  
  
Mom was good at excuses, too.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. No Excuses

Disclaimer: You know the drill. Don't own Digimon. I'm not entirely sure who does but it's sure not me.  
  
Here it is. For better or for worse.   
  
As for a sequel...this is the last part. It's not impossible that I would some day write a sequel, but it would be a long time from now (at least till after Christmas). Consider this the end. I'm glad everyone liked it. I turned out better than I ever expected. I didn't think everyone would like it so much. It's nice to be surprised sometimes. ^_^  
  
And down with Davis bashers! May their hard-drives format themselves! May evil Seadramon live in their pool! May Nimoy move in the house next to them and make corny jokes every time they go to get their mail!  
  
etc etc, Down with Davis bashing. ^_~  
  
  
*****************  
No Excuses  
*****************  
  
We won.  
  
We beat Venom-Myotismon. The main bad guy. The ultimate evil.  
  
We...won.  
  
Remission is a funny thing. You may think you've won and then find out you've lost a short time later. But you could also have won forever and be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.  
  
Why aren't I laughing?  
  
The sky is beautiful tonight, like millions of bonfires burning lifetimes away...Heh, not bad eh? Funny how you can do something after you don't need to anymore.   
  
So anyways, we won. Everyone has a digimon now. You'd think millions of digimon to feed would mess up the economy and stuff, but I guess they're doing this thing with computers and growing stuff in the Digital World...whatever. Ask Izzy about it. I don't really care.  
  
I'm just Davis now. Not leader of the Digi-destined, not the bearer of the Digi-eggs of Friendship and Courage, not that guy who torments TK...I'm just Davis again.   
  
It doesn't really matter does it?  
  
I almost wish there was something else to fight. I don't like this quiet, nothing to do thing. Nothing to do but think, and I don't wanna think. Thinking brings about bad things. Look what it got Ken, HE thought too much. Sure he got that cool Digimon Emperor outfit, but I doubt it was really worth being evil over.  
  
I wonder if Ken knows where I am...if anyone even noticed I was gone.  
  
Nothing...matters. Right? I got no worries. That's what I told Mr. Big Bad and Ugly. I didn't bother to mention I change my mind everyday, did I?  
  
And then that remission thing comes into play again...It's such a pretty word isn't? "Remission" like it means something, anything. Not that I care, 'cause I don't. I don't want to think about it.  
  
Why don't I want to think? See, that would require thinking, and like defeat the whole purpose. I'm not gonna lie, I have no excuses. I don't want to think. That's good enough.  
  
When did it get so cold? Maybe being near the river makes it cold...or it's this stone bridge.  
  
I folded my arms and leaned against the side. I guess stone things do make it colder. The wind isn't helping things either. A smart person wouldn't be hanging around in the park at night in the cold...good thing I'm not a smart person.  
  
Stone things...like mountains, gravestones...STOP THINKING!  
  
It's pretty far down. Dark water is always more interesting than the clear kind. You can't tell what's down there, anything could be under the water. Knowing the world now, there's probably a Seadramon down there. Heh.  
  
Still, I've always liked darkness, just another thing that makes me weird. A lot of people don't like it because they're afraid of something bad lurking in the dark. But why does it have to be something bad? Why couldn't it be something good? Just because you don't know what's there, doesn't mean it's something bad...  
  
Just because we don't know what's out there...doesn't mean it's something to be afraid of.  
  
My mom told me this.  
  
I'm not afraid of the dark.  
  
"Davis! Hey Davis!"   
  
Huh? Someone found me? I must have done something wrong again...Maybe if I ran I could...wait...It's Ken?  
  
Ken jogged up to me. He looked kinda tired, like he had been walking around for awhile. It takes a lot to do that to him, he's a better athlete than I'll ever be. Oh well, I'm gonna be a ramen chef instead. I promised.  
  
He stopped next to me. I didn't bother to look up from my staring at the water.   
I watched him out of the corner of my eye.   
  
He was bundled up in a parka and scarf. Well, I suppose it really IS cold outside. Funny, I don't really feel it. He looked back and forth embarrassed like he didn't know how to start a conversation. Man, he's a nice guy. I still have a hard time connecting him with the Digimon Emperor.  
  
"Um, Davis." He's so used to me taking like a caffeinated Jun before he has a chance to speak. He's not sure what to do. After awhile, he cleared his throat and tried again.   
  
"I uh, got a call from your sister. She asked if I would go look for you..." He stopped as he noticed my fixation with the swirly dark, far away, water. Such a drop...   
  
He scooted beside me and looked down at what I was looking it, curious to see if I was looking at something interesting.  
  
"That's rather far down." He looked at my face, concerned. He's concerned about me? Leave it to Ken to do the impossible..."Are you going to be sick?"  
  
I smiled. "Ya never know, I heard once it was hereditary..."  
  
Ken blinked confused. "What?"  
  
"She asked you to look for me? It only took two days for her to notice I wasn't there..." I was hoping it wouldn't take her that long...  
  
Ken blinked again, REALLY confused. His body was probably going crazy with this new strange "confusion" emotion. "Two days? What are you talking about? What are you doing out here?"   
  
I felt a pressure on my arm. What's he holding me back from?...Oh he thinks I'm going to fall. I'm not sure it'll make any difference, I might already be down there. At least, the important parts of me.  
  
Ken squeezed my arm again.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
My face smiled again without me wanting it to. "Try to guess."  
  
"...what?"  
  
I stared at the river, refusing to look anywhere else. "Your smart. Try to guess."  
  
Ken's probably frowning. He's always too serious. Who needs to be serious? Not me. Nope. Not ever.   
  
"Um...all right." Ken started talking again. "Did you and your sister have a fight?"  
  
"Nope." Not for awhile anyways. What would it accomplish? I bet she hates me anyways.  
  
But why would she ask Ken to look for me if she hated me?  
  
...didn't I tell you to stop thinking brain?  
  
"....Lose some kind of bet? Did you get grounded and say you were going to live in the park for the rest of your life?"  
  
Heh, no that already happened when I was five. I wish I was still five. I knew what was going on then. Go outside, jump in the mud, scuff your knees, have m-...someone put a band-aid on ya, and then go outside and throw a bug on your sister. Simple, painless.   
  
"No."  
  
"...Davis please, just tell me."  
  
I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be playing games like this with him. He's my friend.  
  
I looked up from the water. I don't think I had an expression on my face. "Give up? No prize for you today, Ken."  
  
But I can't stop...  
  
Ken's frown deepened. The wind picked up and blew against my face. I could barely feel it. I must be numb from the cold. Who am I kidding? The cold has nothing to do with it...  
  
"All right." Ken sighed. "Did Demiveemon get lost and you've been out looking for him?"  
  
"He's at home asleep. I wouldn't leave him out here in the cold." He still wanted to come though...I hope he understands me leaving without him. He's innocent though, I don't know if he will.  
  
"But it's ok for you to stay out here by yourself? It's freezing. You're going to catch a cold.   
You're not invincible."  
  
"Y-yes I am. All the Motomiya's are invincible. Didn't you know that?" I started to laugh. I don't want to laugh. Why am I laughing?  
  
No control...I need control!  
  
Ken shook my arm again. "Davis? What's wrong? I can't help you if you don't tell me."  
  
...how do I do that! I don't know what's wrong! No, I do know what's wrong. But...I...don't want to think about it! I don't have any control. I'm afraid. But, I want to tell! Ken understands me. I felt his heartbeat...he understands me! But what if he doesn't? I'm afraid he won't.  
  
I hate being afraid! I want someone to understand. My shoulders aren't as big as I thought they were. If Ken doesn't understand, then no one else in the world will.  
  
And then it won't matter anymore.  
  
"Please, just tell me what--  
  
"My mom's dead."  
  
Time stopped.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
"But..but how?"  
  
"She had cancer. Only the family knew, it was kept hush hush. Didn't want to know she didn't have any hair...silly eh? Oh well."  
  
I don't care. She didn't love me. She left me.  
  
"But I never...When did it happen?"  
  
I looked over at Ken. He looked pale like it had been his mom that died. Well I guess he had been fond of her. But hey! She's gone! OH well! Gone forever like Sam and--  
  
maybe I shouldn't have told Ken.  
  
"Two days ago. I couldn't take it...so I ran away. Took me awhile to realize I didn't have anywhere to go."   
  
I shouldn't have told Ken...I shouldn't have told Ken...I wonder if my mom is talking to Sam...  
  
"You could have came to me. I'm your best friend." Ken put a gloved hand on my arm again.  
  
"Don't touch me!" I jerked away.   
  
Oops. I didn't mean to do that. Ken looked hurt. I-I didn't mean to do that.   
  
"...Uh, sorry. It's ok. These things happen and you just have to deal with it. Circle of life, it happens to everyone eventually."  
  
I can't do this. Ken doesn't deserve this. He's my friend. He's my best friend. He doesn't deserve to be treated this way. I'm acting selfish...again.  
  
"Hey man, it's no big deal really and--and..." I don't want to put this on his shoulders too! I tried to smile...The expression on my face almost went there. "It'll be ok r-really and...and...I..." I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!  
  
I collapsed on my knees. "I'm sorry. I...I can't be happy anymore. I can't do it anymore. I don't even need to anymore, do I?" I laughed...maybe. I'm not sure. It didn't feel like laughter.  
  
I feel dizzy.  
  
"...h-how long have you been doing this?" Ken put his hand on my arm again and held it there in a tight grip. He wasn't going to let me fall.  
  
When did it get so cold out here? Even the stone is cold. And starting to turn white...huh? No...it's snowing.  
  
"Does it matter? Since before the whole digimon thing? She's been sick for a long time, I shoulda seen it coming. But, Davis wouldn't see an avalanche coming until it smacked him in the face eh?"  
  
"It's not something you want to wish for," Ken replied softly.   
  
I turned toward him and looked into his eyes. They were, like haunted. I bet...I bet mine are like that now. Identical...like two hearts beating...  
  
But not in a gay way or anything.  
  
"She coulda got better Ken." I started to cry. No that was snow, I wasn't crying...right? "We thought she was getting better. The doctors called it "remission", crazy word huh? She stopped going to chemo for a little while. She started to look better..." I bit my lip. All that wet...snow on my face was starting to sting.  
  
"I thought she was going to live. I REALLY did. I had never been more sure of anything. The good guys aren't supposed to die. There's a law somewhere, I know it. And when I told Venom-Myotismon that I had no worries...I MEANT IT. My mom was going to be ok. What did I have to worry about?" I laughed again. Why am I laughing?! Stop laughing! "Funny isn't it?"  
  
"No, it's not." Ken...handed me his scarf? No that didn't happen. I wasn't going to put it on and make him less warm. He must have put it on me while I wasn't paying attention. Yeah that's ok.  
  
"I keep thinking of the stupidest things." I wiped the...snow from my face. When did it get so cold? I'm dizzy...I better sit down or I'll fall.  
  
I sat down against the stone. I need something to lean on.  
  
"Like what?" Ken sat down next to me and leaned against the stone wall of the bridge, too.  
  
"Waffles..."  
  
Ken blinked. "What?"  
  
"It's stupid right? But I keep thinking...she'll never have waffles again. Or cake, or ramen, or see me open my ramen restaurant, or see me grow up, or live in the big house I was gonna build her, or see flowers again...she's just dead. Forever."  
  
"Like Sam...I think of that sometimes. Are you angry too?"  
  
I rested my head on my knees and then looked up again.  
  
"All those strangers I saved, WE saved, are all sitting in their nice comfortable houses ALIVE! But I couldn't save the one person in the world that cared! ONE person! Now th-there's no one who cares--"  
  
"--I care."  
  
"--And I'm letting her down by not being strong! I just...don't know how to be! How do I be strong?"  
  
"You've always been strong."  
  
"I...HATE everything! I hate myself for hating everything! I...don't want to hate anything.  
  
And yeah, I'm angry. Everyone thinks...Davis can't be angry, he's just silly Davis! Let's leave Davis behind! Davis is stupid! Well I may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but I'm not stupid! Really! I try! I can't do everything! I just LET her die! After saving the whole stupid world I LET ONE PERSON DIE!"  
  
I put my head on my knees again. My crying was burning my face... maybe it wasn't snow.  
  
"I let her die Ken...I was the only one in the room with her. She held my hand, smiled...and then she was gone. She was there one minute and then she was gone. I don't understand it...how can you just...be gone?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
I looked up. "Your supposed to know these things Ken. You're a genius."  
  
"I really don't know anything, Davis." He looked down at the ground, sadly.  
  
"Lie to me. Make something up."  
  
"Your mom and Sam are making waffles in heaven right now."  
  
I smiled weakly at him and wiped away a few more stingy tears. "Can't you be more creative than that?"  
  
"Sam used too much syrup."  
  
"And elvis is there."  
  
Ken gave me a polite, 'you are insane' look. "She didn't make enough for Elvis."  
  
"Well there going to have to make more. You don't refuse waffles to Elvis." Mom had always liked Elvis. Never knew what she saw in that crazy American music stuff. I bet she stalked him in heaven. Jun had to had to have got it from someone.  
  
Ken smiled a small smile too. "She's making more. She felt sorry for Elvis, and she wants you to put a coat on."  
  
Wasn't it just the other day she told me to put my coat on before going outside? Or had it been months? It seems like yesterday.  
  
"She did always complain about that." I sniffled.  
  
She'll never tell me to take my coat again. There's a million things she won't do. But what would she think of me now? Sitting here in the cold, crying? If she really can see me, and watch over me...I don't want to disappoint her. I want her to be proud of me.  
  
"Your mom loved you Davis."  
  
"I know...It's just not fair....why can Digimon come back but people can't?" It makes no sense...why hasn't anyone ever thought about it? There has to be a reason.  
  
"I don't know. The Digital World is different than the real world. Digimon can die though, if they're in the real world."  
  
Maybe I could...change things...If the real world was like the Digital World then no one would ever have to die...ever again.  
  
"Come on." Ken stood up, then grabbed my hand and yanked me up too. "We have to get somewhere warm or we're both going to get sick. We can stop by your house, get V-mon and some clothes, and you can stay at my house for awhile, ok?"  
  
People would be against, me, but I would be in the right.  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Don't think you can't tell me things ok?"  
  
"I'll try."  
  
Ken dragged me off the bridge, away from the drop and the cold stone to his warm house.  
  
I looked back one more time at the Davis I left behind, sitting at that bridge. It was time I left him behind. I'll be me and I won't worry about other people. I'm not stupid. My mom said I wasn't. I won't lie anymore. I won't make excuses. I'll make my mom proud of me.  
  
I saw my other self disappear around the bend.  
  
I won't lose my fire.  
  
I bet I could change things...  
  
But should I?  



End file.
